...I will always be second best to you. Second option. Second, or maybe even third or fourth or last.
...there's nothing I can do about it. This line from a song, "I did my best but I guess my best wasn't good enough," has never been truer to me.
...only time can tell if I'll ever be worthy for your time and attention.
And, most of all,
...that I am already so tired of proving myself worthy. It's time to stop. Time to let go. Time to do things only because I want to. Time to give importance to those who gives me importance. Time to choose happiness. Time to live for myself and for those who matter. It's time.
Saturday 30 June 2012
Monday 18 June 2012
Better late than never (A Father's Day Post)
Fathers are expected to earn for the family and to discipline the kids when they do seriously bad stuff (when it's worse than what mothers could handle). But, to us, you are more than that. You and Mama are our teachers. You teach us the lessons that we will never learn in school. Because of you, we are now ready to face life. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for all the things you've taught us.
1. The importance of education. You never missed an opportunity to tell us how important studying hard is. Thank you for pushing us further and for supporting us whenever we wanted to take up something -- whether it's just a simple crash course or a graduate degree. Your line, "Ang mapapamana lang namin ng Mama niyo sa inyo na hinding-hindi makukuha ng ibang tao sa inyo ay ang pag-aaral." will forever be in my heart.
2. Laughter is the best medicine. All the people who know you would agree that you're a very funny person. You could make everyone in any occasion laugh heartily with your jokes. I know that even when things aren't going well, you always try to show us that you're okay. Thank you for being the strongest person I know.
3. The importance of rewards. Since we were kids, you always know how to boost our confidence and help us to do our best through your rewards. Regardless how big or small our achievement was, you never fail to acknowledge it. When I was diagnosed with ulcer in Grade 2, you made this chart which will track who ate their baon and not, and give rewards to those who do. I know you did this to push me to always eat mine (I must say, it was really effective). However, I don't remember getting any reward for this, well except, of course, my condition getting better.
4. Simple living. You taught us the difference between needs and wants, and how it is important that we should spend most of our money only on our needs. You remained simple despite the achievements you have done. You taught us that regardless how much we're earning, we should not waste it on temporary highs. I also remember how, whenever we ask you to buy something, we had to prove that it is a need and not just one of our silly wants. This is a lesson I will forever carry in me. Thank you because now, whenever I buy something, I always do a mental list of all the reasons why I need to buy it.
5. The importance of working hard. You have sacrificed a lot since you were a child. I remember your story on how you had to sell different stuff - from newspapers to ice drops, just to help your family and to sustain your schooling. Thank you for all those sacrifices you made. I know how blessed we are for not experiencing what you did. But, most of all, we are truly blessed to have you as a father.
And, the list goes on. A lot of people contributed to who we are today. But, the biggest contribution will always come from you and mama. Thank you and happy father's day! We love you! :)
1. The importance of education. You never missed an opportunity to tell us how important studying hard is. Thank you for pushing us further and for supporting us whenever we wanted to take up something -- whether it's just a simple crash course or a graduate degree. Your line, "Ang mapapamana lang namin ng Mama niyo sa inyo na hinding-hindi makukuha ng ibang tao sa inyo ay ang pag-aaral." will forever be in my heart.
2. Laughter is the best medicine. All the people who know you would agree that you're a very funny person. You could make everyone in any occasion laugh heartily with your jokes. I know that even when things aren't going well, you always try to show us that you're okay. Thank you for being the strongest person I know.
3. The importance of rewards. Since we were kids, you always know how to boost our confidence and help us to do our best through your rewards. Regardless how big or small our achievement was, you never fail to acknowledge it. When I was diagnosed with ulcer in Grade 2, you made this chart which will track who ate their baon and not, and give rewards to those who do. I know you did this to push me to always eat mine (I must say, it was really effective). However, I don't remember getting any reward for this, well except, of course, my condition getting better.
4. Simple living. You taught us the difference between needs and wants, and how it is important that we should spend most of our money only on our needs. You remained simple despite the achievements you have done. You taught us that regardless how much we're earning, we should not waste it on temporary highs. I also remember how, whenever we ask you to buy something, we had to prove that it is a need and not just one of our silly wants. This is a lesson I will forever carry in me. Thank you because now, whenever I buy something, I always do a mental list of all the reasons why I need to buy it.
5. The importance of working hard. You have sacrificed a lot since you were a child. I remember your story on how you had to sell different stuff - from newspapers to ice drops, just to help your family and to sustain your schooling. Thank you for all those sacrifices you made. I know how blessed we are for not experiencing what you did. But, most of all, we are truly blessed to have you as a father.
Kuya, Ate, Papa and me :)
Monday 11 June 2012
When people forget
'Cause you forgot yesterday
I gave you my love to borrow
But you just gave it away.
You can't expect me to be fine,
I don't expect you to care.
I know I've said it before,
But all of our bridges burned down."
-Payphone, Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa
In this case, there are only two kinds of people: those who forget and those who are forgotten. If I were to choose which of the two I'd rather be, it would really give me a hard time deciding. But, right now, it feels like I was not even given the chance to choose.
It is sad. It is disappointing. It makes your heart feel heavy. It is confusing. You want to hide. You want to forget, too. You want to run away from them. It makes you think of bitter things. It is unfair. It doesn't even make sense. And, most of all, it hurts.
I know everyone has already forgotten a lot of people. But just random people. Not those we truly care about. They say that this is just one of life's ways of making an opportunity for other people to be in your life. If that is so, oh how I wish life could find another (easier and less hurtful) way of introducing others.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)