Forgive and forget.

Even PNoy mentioned this in his 3rd SONA yesterday. He said that this phrase cannot answer to all the things done by the wrongdoers. Yes, we can forgive, but not forget.

Then, I wondered, does that even make sense? Can we call it forgiveness when we're still holding on to the memory of the pain inflicted to us? Can we fully move on with that thought still lingering on the back of our minds? I think not. I believe forgetting comes with forgiveness. I guess that's why it's  simply "Forgive and forget", not "Forgive and then forget if you want."

I've learned from a friend that a grudge is like a double-edged sword. Though it may hurt those that did us wrong, it may also hurt us. Sometimes, when we're too consumed by that hatred, we don't notice that the blade has wounded us so deep that, when we realize it, it's already too difficult to heal. Difficult, but possible.

Another hard thing to do is forgiving ourselves. To forgive yourself for all your mistakes, all the bad decisions, all the broken promises, all the failed attempts, all the times you let fear or anger control you, all the people you neglected, and all the times that you were simply in the wrong place and time. Try to forgive yourself, and think that they are already in the past. Do not let the past haunt you, and keep you from making your future shine as bright as it should be. Forgive yourself, then learn from all of it.

"We are not the person other people wish we were. We are who we decide to be. It's always easy to blame others. You can spend your entire life blaming the world, but your successes or failures are entirely your own responsibility."
From the book, "Aleph" by Paulo Coelho

My friend also said that we should let go of the hatred for us to happily move on. That's probably the hardest part - to let go. Sometimes, we think that letting go of the memory makes us the losers. That we are letting them win by forgetting what they did to us. That's why we hold on. We don't want to let go unless we can call it quits.

But we could also think of it this way: by letting go, we let ourselves live without a heavy heart. Do it for yourself. As they say, there is no sweeter revenge than your enemies seeing how happy you are despite their efforts of putting you down. But, to be completely happy, you have to let go of the burden in your heart. Forgive, and then forget.

When people forget

"Oh, you turned your back on tomorrow
'Cause you forgot yesterday
I gave you my love to borrow
But you just gave it away.
You can't expect me to be fine,
I don't expect you to care.
I know I've said it before,
But all of our bridges burned down."
-Payphone, Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa

In this case, there are only two kinds of people: those who forget and those who are forgotten. If I were to choose which of the two I'd rather be, it would really give me a hard time deciding. But, right now, it feels like I was not even given the chance to choose. 

It is sad. It is disappointing. It makes your heart feel heavy. It is confusing. You want to hide. You want to forget, too. You want to run away from them. It makes you think of bitter things. It is unfair. It doesn't even make sense. And, most of all, it hurts.

I know everyone has already forgotten a lot of people. But just random people. Not those we truly care about. They say that this is just one of life's ways of making an opportunity for other people to be in your life. If that is so, oh how I wish life could find another (easier and less hurtful) way of introducing others.

Untitled.

When you're faced with something big, it feels like it is the only thing in front of you. It feels as if your whole life is solely composed of that moment. But, it isn't. There are so much more beyond that metaphorical wall that is blocking your path. How to break through that or, at least, see way past that barricade is the real challenge. When you look back into that moment after several years, it would just be a really small portion of your life. So small that it would be hard to imagine that, once, it had been almost everything you ever worried about.

But hey, things are always easier said than done. Now, how would I get past this wall? I really have no idea.

My 2011 Adventure

Last year didn't start so well for me, especially since my 2010 ended great. But, eventually, luck caught up and things began to change for the better.

2011 let me experience the ups and downs of life. I experienced being nothing and being something. I gained new people in my life and, sadly, lost some, too. There were times I felt like I had no one, but, most of the time, I know that I'm surrounded by the people who makes the world seem better. I've been my worst and best self this year. Yes, 2011 was indeed one crazy adventure. And, I really thank God that everything happened EXACTLY the way they did. 

My 2011 in pictures:

JANUARY

▫ New Year at Baguio City ▫ Took interest in taking photos of flowers ▫ Read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho ▫ 

FEBRUARY

▫ PIChE National Convention in Bacolod ▫ Myth of the Human Body Exhibition (twice!) ▫ Fiesta in Sta. Rita, Pampanga ▫ Found my new favorite subject -- Ely! :) ▫ Took more random photos ▫

MARCH

▫ Watched Sugarfree's Farewell Concert with John at Eastwood ▫ Watched the Philippine International Pyro Musical Competition at the Mall of Asia ▫ Lolo passed away :( ▫ Dada and Apo's golden wedding anniversary celebration ▫ Kuya graduated from UST Law ▫

APRIL

▫ 9th anniversary celebration with Leys, Mhi, Mjhae and John at Tagaytay (Photos grabbed from Leys) ▫ Kuya's birthday and graduation celebration ▫ Tina's birthday celebration ▫

MAY

▫ Finished AIM's three-week Business Management Program ▫ Learned a lot ▫ Made new friends :) ▫

▫ Rockband first-timers at Bluskies, Katipunan ▫ I was able to set up a little studio inside my room (which lasted for just one night) ▫ Enchanted Kingdom with family (my first EKstreme experience!) ▫ Got the ERDT Scholarship! :D ▫ Watched Maroon 5 concert with Issa at SMX Convention ▫

JUNE

▫ Enchanted Kingdom with ChE '05 friends (made my first "music video" :P) ▫ Started my MS EnE degree (back-to-school!) ▫ Enchanted Kingdom with family and Caps ▫ Bought my first not-so-cheap gift to myself -- a 50mm f/1.8 Nikkor Lens :) ▫

JULY

▫ Party-party at O-Week's Culminating Party held at Area 05 Superclub (Photo grabbed from Geronimo Photographico's FB Album: http://on.fb.me/zKh3KX) ▫

▫ Random bonding with Junelle and Ip at Robinson's Galleria (Junelle, I will forever see fish eggs in that photo because of you. Haha.) ▫ Bought new PC -- this marked the start of the haggard days of my MS EnE program ▫ Caps' birthday surprise -- will never forget this! :D (Bitter critter photo grabbed from Quiddity Online's FB Album: http://on.fb.me/wjgERe) ▫

AUGUST

▫ ChE Reps 0910 get-together dinner with Pampy at Trinoma (Thanks Rachell for the coffee treat! Let's do this again soon! :D) ▫ Went to Bohol with the whole family during the long weekend -- BEST. TRIP. EVER. :) ▫

SEPTEMBER

▫ My birthday! Therefore, new hair! :) ▫ First field trip of my MS program (EnE 201) at Morong, Rizal Landfill  -- Thanks Papa for the help! ▫ Attended my first ERDT Conference at Manila Hotel ▫ Videoke at Music 21 after the conference (I don't want to remember where we went after this. Haha scary experience. XD) ▫ Unexpected bonding with Selda and Tins at Trinoma -- masama kayo dito! Dora, amp! >_< (Photos grabbed from Selda) ▫ 

OCTOBER

▫ Went to Yuchengco Museum with Junelle at Makati ▫ Ate at the hard-to-find, but worth it, Mom & Tina's Bakery Cafe after -- grabe yung wrong way tayo sa one-way street, buti nalang linggo yun. Haha. XD ▫ This day is nothing but happiness. Let's shoot and bond again soon! :) ▫

▫ Unplanned bonding with Leys and Mhi at Trinoma (Mhi, thanks again for the booking assistance. Leys, thanks again for the birthday gift! :D) ▫ Made my first DIY camera accessory -- customized bokeh ▫

▫ My first plane ride without Papa and Mama ▫ Went to Puerto Princesa City, Palawan with Caps. :) ▫

NOVEMBER

▫ Papa and Mama's 27th wedding anniversary celebration at Red Palace Restaurant (where I first tasted the BEST halabos na suahe ever!) ▫ Kuya and Ate Ejay's bar exam this month (Good luck! :D) -- masaya makisali sa pagrerelax sa Manila Hotel. :) ▫ Food trip and bonding with ChE 05 friends (Edgie, thank you for the treat! :9) ▫ Reunion and bonding with relatives in Pampanga during the holiday ▫

DECEMBER

▫ Reunion with my 2-A family at Zel's House in North Olympus, QC ▫ Played Pinoy Genius and Charades ▫ We'll forever remember Scooby Doo and how it must be acted. Hahaha. ▫ A truly fun and memorable night! :) ▫

▫ Pampy's all-day-til-night birthday celebration at the ChE Laboratory, Mister Kabab and Pizza Hut ▫ Chill at the Rance Residence in Bataan -- thanks for the warm and generous accommodation, Pamps! Namimiss ko na yung luto ni Mama Perlit. :) ▫ Pawikan Conservation Center - bawal mag-swimming dahil sa malalakas na alon, kaya picture nalang. Haha. ▫ Christmas celebration with Leys, Mhi and John in Eastwood (Photos grabbed from Leys) ▫ Christmas preparation and celebration at home - made truffles and tiramisu! ▫ Reunion with the Genuino clan ▫

Looking forward to a more awesome, crazy and blessed 2012!

Happy year of the Dragon! <--our year! ^_^

Can we just stop and talk awhile?

Sometimes, life can be just too fast for us. Too fast that we can't even find time to have a decent conversation. Too fast that we can't even get past the usual greetings and well-wishes. Too fast that we don't seem to find any topic interesting enough to talk about. It saddens me that we think we know what's happening in each other's life, but we actually don't. I just hope life slows down a bit for us. That way, we could catch up - with life, and with each other.

Maybe you don't even know how I'm feeling right now.

And, I don't probably have the slightest idea of how you're feeling.