Happy mother's day!

More than the default thank you's, I would also like to thank you for being more than just a mother to us. You're also:

1. A great shopping buddy -- no one knows our size more than you do (even us!).
2. An effective spokesperson -- whenever we want to ask Papa to buy us something.
3. A frightening alarm clock -- your reverse psychology line, "Sige matulog ka nalang, wag ka na pumasok!" always wakes me up and makes me take a bath immediately.
4. A patient teacher -- for doing our assignments and projects when we were too sleepy to finish them.
5. A fun kwentuhan buddy -- though sometimes, when you're really sleepy, you can't help but fall asleep even when I'm still talking. Hahaha.

Hope you enjoyed our celebration today! I'm sure you like my gift because you chose that. :)

Rays of light.

Have you ever wanted something so much, but, the more you try to get it, the more it seems to elude you? It's frustrating, yet really humbling. At the end of the day, you'll just realize that maybe it really isn't meant for you. Maybe you're up for something better or greater. Yes, in a way, that sounded like I'm just comforting myself for the things that I can't get. But, that is my point. We can't always get what we want, or maybe we can't just get it on the exact time that we want it. 

I often use the Facebook application, God wants you to know. Sometimes, it's a good source of a cliche yet timely, inspiring and wise advice. Recently, what I got there said, "Chasing the things you want can make them move further away from you. Relax, and let events unfold in their own time instead." And, that's it. I realized that, for now, I should slow down, be less aggressive. Then, I felt happier and lighter. 

Now, let me take this opportunity to thank the people who had been with me during the times when I was so down because of the things that I should not even be worrying about:

1. Thank you for the videoke night out. It was great to let everything out through a song. Hahaha.
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2. Thank you and you for being my shopping buddies. I just discovered that this is actually an effective (though really costly) de-stresser.
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3. Thank you for sparing a few hours from your really busy schedule to have dinner with me and to just talk the night away. Wednesday night was real fun! Yes, including our encounter with "kuya" when we were desperately finding that spot where we could make a U-turn.
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4. Thank you for Skype-ing with me and just let me rant about what's happening here, even when you're busy in the lab. It was just like our old laboratory moments when I would just watch and talk while you're going about your experiments. Oh, how I miss that. Even if you didn't realize that I was ranting, I still thank you because you have no idea how much weight was gone from me when I got all that out.
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5. Thank you for being so patient whenever I call you for no reason, and you're still asleep. But, hey, who would know that you're still sleeping by 10am? Hahaha, just kidding. But, thank you, really, for taking the time to answer and listen even if you're just half-awake.
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6. Thank you for randomly asking how I am. I was surprised because you rarely do that, and I'm so touched. Thank you, too, for letting me tell you everything despite you being at work. I know reading my messages while talking with your students was a challenge. Lastly, thank you for randomly inviting me for lunch. I really appreciated that.
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7. Thank you for the fun catch-up and merienda. Also, I'm sorry for asking you to help me carry the drawers and coat hanger I purchased. I hope your arms did not ache as much as mine did.
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8. Thank you for agreeing to meet up with me. As always, I enjoyed your company and our risk-taking search for great food. Besides eating and chatting, it was also really fun to shop for your "paraphernalia". Hahaha. Have a great TBA!

A really big thank you! It is wonderful to know that there are people who will always be there for you especially when the going gets tough. People who will make time when you need them. People who will not wait for you to tell them what's happening, but rather ask you as soon as they notice that something's wrong. Yes, life can be a real bitch at times. But having these people makes everything seem bearable.

Hello, distractions!

Because I'm so not in the mood to finish my thesis proposal, I bought a new book! 

"Aleph invites us to consider the meaning of our own personal journeys: Are we where we want to be, doing what we want to do?" Those were the lines that made me want to read the book. Hopefully, I'd get something inspiring out of this book since that's what I really need right now.

On another distraction, I learned about the super moon a while ago, so I grabbed my cam and went outside. 

Sadly, my shot didn't feel so super, and I think the super moon occurred last night. Well, I have a mental picture of the beautiful, orange-y moon, anyway. That's good enough for me. 

Untitled.

When you're faced with something big, it feels like it is the only thing in front of you. It feels as if your whole life is solely composed of that moment. But, it isn't. There are so much more beyond that metaphorical wall that is blocking your path. How to break through that or, at least, see way past that barricade is the real challenge. When you look back into that moment after several years, it would just be a really small portion of your life. So small that it would be hard to imagine that, once, it had been almost everything you ever worried about.

But hey, things are always easier said than done. Now, how would I get past this wall? I really have no idea.

Terribly missing my dearest friend.

Okay, I know I told you that I won't be so dramatic, so I'll make this short.


Even if we don't see each other very often when you were still here, I'd still miss you so much now that you're somewhere far. I guess, besides missing YOU, I'll miss the idea that you're just here - somewhere here. You're no longer "just a text away" from me. I'll miss our spontaneous meet-ups, and even the planned ones. I'll miss your text messages because I know it'll be too costly now. I'll miss our conversations which always make me feel lighter. I'll miss everything we did together.

Do you still remember this strip? Haha. I know that even when we're miles apart, we still (and will always) have a friend in each other. I know we'll find ways to keep the communication. Good luck on this journey, my dearest friend! Make the most out of this great opportunity and adventure! I'm really happy for you because, as you have said, that is your dream. Go and live it. See you in 6 months or so. :)

Failing connections

Staring at my cellphone, I'm hoping you'd find time to wish me a great morning. I miss those mornings that I would wake up to your messages and feel glad that you thought of me before your busy day starts.

Have you ever missed someone so much that it already hurts? So much, that you can't help but think that they don't miss you at all. So much, that sometimes you feel that you're now just another person in their busy life - nothing special. So much, that all you can do is quietly hope that they'll remember you again because you know, deep down, that you can't, and won't, bring this issue up to them.

It is so hard whenever you recall those days when you were still spending time with each other - watching movies together, kwentuhan over coffee, random activities that you have no idea why you enjoy doing (probably because you're with them) - and then realize that those days are now just distant memories. You wonder how they are doing right now. You want to contact them but you're stopped by the idea that maybe, just maybe, they're actually really busy. You don't want to be a disturbance, after all. Then days, sometimes weeks, will pass without any communication with them...and then, one day, you'll helplessly realize that whatever's between you is just another failed connection.

Because I'm clingy and such.

Sasabihin mo na naman, "Para namang ang tagal kong mawawala."

Half a year is long for someone who spent so much time and did a lot of stuff with you, especially recently. I'll definitely miss our kwentuhan - whether kalandian lang or on serious matters. The things we did and talked about during the long waiting time of our experiments.  Our shopping escapades. Yung mga kasamaan at kalokohan natin. Yung pamimilit namin sa'yo na i-invite kami sa Bataan, lalo na nung nabanggit mo yung zipline sa inyo. Haha. The many merienda we had whenever our experiments permitted, and the random dinners (tapos sisisihin mo kami kung bakit 'di ka pumapayat). I'll surely miss mocking your adsorption experiment's pH stabilization which takes a very, very, very long time to stop changing (well, not knowing that you'll make me finish it. T_T). And, of course, all your funny stories and jokes that seemed endless. 

On your new adventure, I could wish nothing but the very best for you. You deserve every opportunity that life has given and will soon give you. I know you would do great - you always do. Kahit na lagi ka naming niloloko na sabay tayo ga-graduate, naniniwala pa din ako na mauuna ka sa'min matapos (pwera usog. Hahaha.).

Good luck on this journey and may God bless you always! Enjoy every bit of this great adventure! Keep in touch and see you in 6 months! :)

PS: Sabi mo sa'kin okay lang nung sinabi kong mag-b-blog ako tungkol sa pag-alis mo. 'Wag ka mag-violent reaction. Hahahaha. :)